Parents Keep Adult Son's Paycheck and Offer Him an Allowance

Author image for Eric Lund
Eric Lund
Dec 17, 2020 9:00 AM EST

This person is wondering if they're right to help their daughter's boyfriend, whose parents take his earnings and offer him back an allowance of a hundred bucks a week. That sounds kinda like a crime, right? Especially for someone who's not even legally a child anymore. For another frustrating and wild parent encounter, here's a parent who blames their teacher for their kid not being in virtual class.

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  • 01
    Text - r/AmItheAsshole - Posted by u/HUGO_4815162342 14 hours ago 67 02 90 83 3 81 3 58 AITA for helping my daughter's boyfriend against his parents wishes? Long story short, am I the asshole for giving my daughter's boyfriend his portion of the money he needed for them to move into an apartment together, against his parents wishes? His parents are majorly pissed because I gave him the money, because they didn't want him to move in with my daughter. He is 22 years old, works a full time job, and
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  • 02
    Text - His parents require him to give them his entire salary every pay period, it's direct deposited into their bank account. They give him an "allowance" of $100 per week. They told him he could not move out because they need his help financially, but his father makes really good money as an architect, and his mother makes a moderate income as a high school teacher. I personally don't think they should be depending on their son's income or forcing him/guilting him into giving them his money.
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  • 03
    Text - I gave him the money, he opened his own bank account and had his job change his direct deposit. They are moving in the apartment this coming weekend. His mother posted a scathing post on Facebook basically threatening me with bodily harm for "messing with her family and getting involved with things that are none of my business." She then proceeded to call me and scream at me with pretty much the same message. I hung up on her. So, am I the asshole for getting involved in their family matt
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  • 04
    Text - sorrypumpkin 6.8k points · 15 hours ago NTA his parents sound like shit and he needs to separate his bank account and close off their access to it ASAP. That's so inappropriate. HUGO_4815162342 6.0k points · 14 hours ago e 3 2 84 He has. He did that last week, which is what alerted his parents of what was going on. He opened a new bank account and had his job change his direct deposit destination to his new account. It's at a different bank too.
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  • 05
    Text - Katerpillarkush 3.3k points · 15 hours ago NTA. They're only pissed that because of you they're going to struggle to continue to financially abuse him. Honestly, good on you.
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  • 06
    Text - Arbor_Arabicae Partassipant [3] 2.5k points · 15 hours ago Your daughter is dating the young man, it is your business. His parents sound unbelievably controlling. I have to wonder where their money is going. Drugs? Gambling? Something else? Anyway, definitely NTA. If she keeps threatening you, I'd call the police and file a restraining order.
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  • 07
    Text - tomboyfutch 1.8k points · 13 hours ago I got to the part where you said they take his entire salary and then give him a $100 allowance.. and Holy shit. I had to stop reading there. That is 100% financial abuse. They're mad at you because you helped him break free of their abusive control. The whole "stay out of our family business" thing is wonderful for abusers. Then there is no one to speak up for, protect, or help the victims of abuse. If I were you, I would block them (it's amazing ho
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  • 08
    Text - Ipskies Asshole Enthusiast [7] 1.6k points · 14 hours ago He is 22 years old His parents don't get a choice. NTA.
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  • 09
    Text - TheLoudCanadianGirl Asshole Aficionado [10] 137 points · 14 hours ago I was going to say thats a bit extreme but, when i noticed his age that completely changed things. He is an adult, this level of parenting from his parents is insane. Good on you for helping him out, i cant imagine how long he would of been stuck in that nightmare if you didn't step in. NTA
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